Underwear Shopping + Packing light

Yup. You read the title right. We're talking about underwear over here today. Underwear, and self-worth, and creating space. Because really, how many of us believe that we're worth buying the new underwear BEFORE our old look like they've gone through hell and back. I hope it's you that feels worth it, buying the new I mean, because I don't always. I struggle with knowing if I'm depriving myself and not believing I'm worth something, or if I'm being too extravagant in my wants and being materialistic. Anyone else? 

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I ordered 10 for $35 undies on sale from Aerie and then immediately felt guilty. Maybe I don't REALLY need them. Maybe I should be putting my money towards something else. My friend and I were texting about all the sales over the holiday weekend and how we feel like it's extravagant to buy ourselves new items that aren't from a thrift store. She mentioned that maybe it's because we grew up somewhat poor. I agreed. I do not, however, want to live with a poverty mentality moving forward, so I'm trying hard to break those habits, change my mindset around money and remind myself that I AM WORTH BUYING NEW CLOTHING. So I ordered the underwear. And maybe it is a bit extravagant, but who needs to wear holey (not to be confused with holy) underwear? I'm realizing that when my clothes have multiple holes in them that it is a NEED to replace them. Not a want, simply necessary. 

This not-okay-to-buy-myself-clothes mentality was confirmed in me last week when I bought a bunch of clothes at Target for my girl. I piled the cart with multiple pairs of little leggings, t-shirts and a cute jacket. I didn't think twice about it. She needed clothing, having outgrown nearly everything in her closet. I didn't hesitate for a second to buy her what she needed. Yet when I go to buy myself a pair of leggings for $10... somehow they seem too expensive. So much of the time I talk myself out of buying clothes, convincing myself that my money could be better spent elsewhere. So here I am taking steps to conquer that. Taking advantage of sweater sales and undie sales this week. Throwing away the old, the worn out, the no-longer-fits. Creating space for the new. Creating space to acknowledge that I'm worth buying never-worn-before brand new clothing. 

I've been doing a lot of throwing away and clearing out in general. I started packing up some of my books and rarely used things for my upcoming move in January. I threw out four trash bags of stuff in the process and it felt wonderful. It is so very freeing to throw out the old and create space for newness in one's life. I want to start this next season of marriage and living in a new town lighter. I want to start it free, clear, and focused. I want to pack light. 

So here's to all of us ladies. Here's to our self-worth. Here's to conquering poverty without succumbing to materialism. Here's to living up to our potential, knowing our value, and letting go of the lies. And maybe, just maybe for today that means buying new underwear.

Saturday for the Soul

Happy Saturday. Happy weekend. 

For me this weekend means driving out of state to visit my guy and his kiddos. Yeah, I drive a lot these days (long distance relationships do that to you!) while drinking coffee of course, and listening to all the good tunes I can find on Spotify. The early morning drives are my favorite. The roads are still bare and the foggy mist sits over the treetops as the sun rises behind them. I sip my coffee and wake up slowly. I pray, I breathe, it's become a space of rest for me.

I'm finding new rhythms of rest in my life right now. I'm more active again and traveling a fair amount, while thinking and planning for the future and still maintaining my day to day work and life. It's been... different. I love stability and systems and routine. It keeps me stable and allows space for me to be creative. I create best when I'm surrounded by structure. I allow myself to adjust to new schedules and timing and I keep telling myself to rest.

Rest. It's not something I've ever been good at, though I find I'm learning. I'm talking about true rest here, not the netflix and chill version, but deep soul rest, spirit rest, that kind that leaves me remembering who God is and that I can trust him with all those little things that build up throughout the week and all those big things that are weighing on my heart. Rest is freeing. Rest will take the stress and the striving and the worry and toss them out the window, leaving you with a sweet breeze blowing through your hair and a deep breath of its-all-gonna-be-okay. 

 

For today. Saturday. It's all gonna be okay. 

 

Here are a few promised pictures of the macrame wall hanging I made that I talked about a few weeks ago.

Saturday for the Soul

It's Saturday y'all!

Hopefully that means you get to drink coffee and enjoy a slow morning with something or someone you love. I'm cleaning house and working on a macrame wall hanging today. Pictures to come later. 

It seems the summer days are already fading, I feel school in the air and I suddenly want to do all-the-projects. I know... it's not even fall yet, but you get me, yeah? The urge to clean and organize for a new season? If it's hit you too, you'll love this $10 off at Grove Collaborative, my all time favorite store for home products. Discount Mrs. Meyers products? Yes. Please.  SHOP HERE

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a few more goodies:

My friend Abby talks about quieting fear to create space for faith. http://bit.ly/2uHGxeQ

Love these thoughts from the Art of Simple on why you're having food cravings. http://bit.ly/2ujreq8

 

That's a wrap for now! Do you have a  favorite Saturday tradition? Share below if you like! 

Start at the Beginning | A Reminder of Grace for the Perfectionist

I was talking through a potential business idea with a good friend when I realized it.

Honestly, I said, I think I just need to get over the fear and do it. 

I hadn't noticed until that moment that it was just fear holding me back, I thought maybe I was being wise, maybe I was being realistic and logical, maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe I really did need to perfect that one skill before I could move forward. Talking it through though... I was just afraid. 

I'm so good at encouraging other people to act on their ideas, I shared with my friend, but when it comes to my own, I find all the reasons why this wouldn't work, why I should wait, why it sounds crazy.

She smiled and agreed, It's so much harder when it's your own thing.

Right? It seems so easy to see the potential, the brilliance, the of-course-you're-capable-of-that in other people, but when it comes to seeing it in yourself, all the doubts are at the forefront.

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We're all in process, always moving, shifting, growing, but we know the one who holds it all, who is steady and not moving. 

We're all not-quite-there-yet, but we know the one who is there.

We're always going to have fears trying to creep in, but we know the one who has no fear.

We're always going to want to wait for the "perfect" time, but we know the one who's timing is perfect.

We're always going to wonder if we have what it takes, but we know the one who provides all.

We're always going to have false views of ourselves try to show their head, but we know the one who has the perfect view of us. 

We're always going to be starting where we are, with what we have. This is all we can do. This is all we're meant to do. Accept ourselves, and do the best we can with what we have been given. We know the one who gives all and is the source of everything. We're being held. We can step out and grow and move forward in faith and know that whatever the results, things are happening for us. God is present. Love is present. Grace is present.

We don't have to be perfect. We just have to show up. We have to start at the beginning.

 

On Daily Caring For Your Soul (and How I Forget to Water my Plants)

I often forget to water my plants. It's kind of a problem. 

I love them, I really do, they bring so much joy to my life. I love getting my hands in the dirt, planting new things, watching them grow and bloom. I love all of it: the flowers, gardens, greenery, all that beautiful nature-stuff that is full of life.

Except some days they aren't so full of life because of the lack-of-water situation I've created. I apparently missed out on inheriting my Mom's green thumb. I look over at my house plants all wilting up and getting dried out and oh my gosh, I forgot to water this week AGAIN. And dear Jesus, help me. 

This forgetting to water doesn't just happen with my plants though. I find my soul all stressed out and feeling overwhelmed and then, oh... I haven't read my Bible in over a week. I haven't prayed at all today. Yoga was days ago. Did I even acknowledge my emotions today? I think I was just numbing things all day. Yikes.

It's so incredibly easy to go through the motions of life and work and relationships and forget to be present. I forget to acknowledge where I'm at and I forget to care for myself properly until I notice I'm dying a little on the inside. When my heart is hurting and I wonder what's going on with me, and I can't put it into words when my sister asks, so I say I'm just tired (which is true) but I know deep down that it's my soul and spirit that is tired and I can't figure out why. Then I remember how I've been lacking in showing up for my soul and it all makes sense. I'm so quick to forget that just like our bodies, just like my plants, my soul need nourishment. My mind and heart and emotions, it all needs tender loving care and a lack of that care leaves me all wilted and soul-tired. 

I'm learning ways to care for my soul and spirit, to nourish every part of me, to pay attention to the needs I have and not just run over them pretending that they don't exist or that I'm suddenly superwoman. I'm acknowledging that I'm human and have needs and that this doesn't make me less-than, it makes me real. 

What are your favorite ways to care for your soul?