Are You Hiding From Yourself? | On Speaking Truth.

I've always been good at hiding, at running away, at removing the possibility of being hurt. It's so much easier to put up walls than to let people know how you're really feeling. It's easier to lose the relationship than to try and fix it. It's easier to pretend everything is fine instead of having the hard conversation. This is how my life went for so many years. I didn't know it at the time, that I was taking the easy way out. I didn't know there was another way. Now I do. 

Truth does that. It shows you the things you didn't know about yourself. It shows up and if you choose to embrace it, the walls come down. Changing your ways becomes easier. Choosing the hard and vulnerable but oh, so much better way of living becomes possible. 

Now I know that showing up in relationships is the best thing I could ever do with my life, that choosing to have the hard conversations pays off, that choosing to be intentional in showing up as who you are matters. That taking the risk to be fully yourself makes a difference in your life and the lives of those around you. This is the hard work. This is the beautiful work. This can change your life. 

I've found this in my creative endeavors too. I want to write a book. I want to help creatives have a great online presence. Somewhere along the way I decided to believe that I wasn't good enough. Enter this new collaboration idea I've been dwelling on for weeks. It's a great idea, just maybe not a right this minute idea. I realized that I'm hiding behind coming up with more ideas and moving my energy from my book writing to include other people in a collaboration because I don't truly believe I have anything to offer on my own. Truth. Sometimes it doesn't feel so great, but truth will always, always set us free. I haven't written anything in weeks, I've been distracting myself with all the other things, and realizing this, here I am, showing up. Showing up for myself, as myself. Showing up for you, too. 

I don't want to spend my life hiding behind others, running away from myself or refusing to show up as who I really am. I choose to believe that I'm enough. That showing up as me in the world is the best thing I can do with my life. I choose to tell myself the truth, instead of making up stories that self-protect and lead me down a wrong path, causing me to hide and run. I choose to embrace my life. 


Are you telling yourself any stories that aren't true? 

What areas can you speak truth to?