Yup. You read the title right. We're talking about underwear over here today. Underwear, and self-worth, and creating space. Because really, how many of us believe that we're worth buying the new underwear BEFORE our old look like they've gone through hell and back. I hope it's you that feels worth it, buying the new I mean, because I don't always. I struggle with knowing if I'm depriving myself and not believing I'm worth something, or if I'm being too extravagant in my wants and being materialistic. Anyone else?
I ordered 10 for $35 undies on sale from Aerie and then immediately felt guilty. Maybe I don't REALLY need them. Maybe I should be putting my money towards something else. My friend and I were texting about all the sales over the holiday weekend and how we feel like it's extravagant to buy ourselves new items that aren't from a thrift store. She mentioned that maybe it's because we grew up somewhat poor. I agreed. I do not, however, want to live with a poverty mentality moving forward, so I'm trying hard to break those habits, change my mindset around money and remind myself that I AM WORTH BUYING NEW CLOTHING. So I ordered the underwear. And maybe it is a bit extravagant, but who needs to wear holey (not to be confused with holy) underwear? I'm realizing that when my clothes have multiple holes in them that it is a NEED to replace them. Not a want, simply necessary.
This not-okay-to-buy-myself-clothes mentality was confirmed in me last week when I bought a bunch of clothes at Target for my girl. I piled the cart with multiple pairs of little leggings, t-shirts and a cute jacket. I didn't think twice about it. She needed clothing, having outgrown nearly everything in her closet. I didn't hesitate for a second to buy her what she needed. Yet when I go to buy myself a pair of leggings for $10... somehow they seem too expensive. So much of the time I talk myself out of buying clothes, convincing myself that my money could be better spent elsewhere. So here I am taking steps to conquer that. Taking advantage of sweater sales and undie sales this week. Throwing away the old, the worn out, the no-longer-fits. Creating space for the new. Creating space to acknowledge that I'm worth buying never-worn-before brand new clothing.
I've been doing a lot of throwing away and clearing out in general. I started packing up some of my books and rarely used things for my upcoming move in January. I threw out four trash bags of stuff in the process and it felt wonderful. It is so very freeing to throw out the old and create space for newness in one's life. I want to start this next season of marriage and living in a new town lighter. I want to start it free, clear, and focused. I want to pack light.
So here's to all of us ladies. Here's to our self-worth. Here's to conquering poverty without succumbing to materialism. Here's to living up to our potential, knowing our value, and letting go of the lies. And maybe, just maybe for today that means buying new underwear.